Alex Flagg - Testicular Revolutionary

OK, I admit I am posting this only because the title was a slam dunk. My friend Chester99 is a conversational terrorist, and big in every way - body, mind, humor, and particularly capacity for irritating others. So I fought back today in an IM conversation, and might have even won. The transcript follows:

(10:16:15 AM) Chester99: where do you stand on organ selling?
(10:16:26 AM) Alex: what's the context
(10:16:41 AM) Chester99: should it be legal to sell organs
(10:16:43 AM) Chester99: ie kidneys
(10:16:51 AM) Alex: well i need at least 1
(10:17:00 AM) Chester99: only if you intend to keep living
(10:17:03 AM) Alex: you looking for a spare?
(10:17:21 AM) Chester99: no, I tivo ER and they did a that for several episodes
(10:17:25 AM) Chester99: curious where you stood
(10:17:46 AM) Alex: i think it's pure desperation
(10:17:55 AM) Alex: I don't think I'd sell one in almost any situation
(10:17:59 AM) Alex: but never say never
(10:18:00 AM) Chester99: I've also been trying to get joe to cut his balls off and sell a kidney
(10:18:06 AM) Alex: lol
(10:18:09 AM) Alex: well my balls stay
(10:18:11 AM) Alex: no question
(10:18:15 AM) Chester99: oh yeah? why?
(10:18:18 AM) Alex: I need them
(10:18:21 AM) Chester99: for...?
(10:18:26 AM) Alex: plus my voice is high enuff as is
(10:18:32 AM) Chester99: you'll live longer
(10:18:33 AM) Alex: babies
(10:18:36 AM) Chester99: you can bank sperm
(10:18:41 AM) Alex: busting them
(10:18:50 AM) Alex: saying "I have balls"
(10:18:59 AM) Alex: because I want them
(10:19:00 AM) Chester99: say I gave you $50M to have them surgiclaly removed
(10:19:07 AM) Alex: say you had 50M
(10:19:14 AM) Chester99: it's purely hypothetical
(10:19:19 AM) Alex: sure
(10:19:22 AM) Chester99: 25?
(10:19:28 AM) Alex: but if you had 50 I'd probably have 40-45
(10:19:36 AM) Alex: so i don't need your paltry 5 M
(10:19:37 AM) Chester99: no, you'd still be poor
(10:19:40 AM) Alex: nope
(10:19:41 AM) Chester99: unless you sold your nuts
(10:19:45 AM) Chester99: at which point....
(10:19:50 AM) Alex: would you have sold your nuts then?
(10:19:56 AM) Alex: because how did you get so rich?
(10:20:01 AM) Chester99: I'm probably giving them away before too long anyway
(10:20:06 AM) Alex: I disbelieve
(10:20:09 AM) Chester99: so that's not at issue
(10:20:14 AM) Alex: oh but it is
(10:20:20 AM) Chester99: what I'm interested in is learning what the going rate is
(10:20:21 AM) Alex: why are you so rich and me so poor
(10:20:33 AM) Chester99: well alex, because I'm awesome
(10:20:33 AM) Alex: it's not fair, your hypothetical world
(10:20:35 AM) Chester99: we've talked about this before
(10:20:46 AM) Alex: well I'm keeping my nuts
(10:20:54 AM) Chester99: what about the kidney then?
(10:20:54 AM) Alex: just to spit in your rich face
(10:20:58 AM) Alex: keeping that too
(10:21:01 AM) Alex: purely out of spite
(10:21:02 AM) Chester99: 50M?
(10:21:14 AM) Alex: because there's such a split in society between rich and poor
(10:21:21 AM) Alex: and you are using your money to steal my organs
(10:21:54 AM) Alex: your hypothetical money is hypothetically tainted
(10:27:08 AM) Alex: (10:24:53 AM) Greensky: if you sell yours for 50 mill, could you buy someone elses for less maybe?
(10:24:58 AM) Alex: maybe
(10:25:03 AM) Alex: but I don't play that game with my balls
(10:25:24 AM) Greensky: yeah, no way I would go for that
(10:25:35 AM) Alex: plus, i'm fighting a class struggle at this point

Viva la revolucion!

Second-to-No Life

I imagine you all, being good little Internet goblins, have heard of Second Life. I too, have heard of it, but have never had the pleasure/pain of indulging myself with it. This account is all I really need to know, I think. That, and that my friend has been caught up in a bizarre virtual-sex triangle involving real-life housewives and real-life jealousy. Dude. Seriously.

Treading the Thread

A sad, frustrating, infuriating, and terrifying account of the foundations of possible war between the world's 2 biggest jackasses. I'm not the "cut-and-run type," but if this keeps up...I might just learn. I am embarrased to be a part of our goverment. November 2008 can't come soon enough.

Move Over, Snakes on a Plane.

New Zealand's newest horror romp will own your soul...or at least, the soulless husk you turned out to be.

AaaaaARRHGH!!!!

Goddammit. Look, Mr. Bush, I understand that you've already fucked up Iraq but good, and that you're spoiling for a fight with Iran (doing a bang-up job there, provoking them, I might add). But for GOD'S sake quit pissing off Russia! Getting us involved in a new Vietnam is one thing, but restarting the Cold War to screw over the next (likely-Democratic) president is unconcionable. Note that the old SALT stuff will be renewed in 2009...I know you that gives you plenty of time to screw it up then get out, but we'll find you if you do. Oh yes.

Oh, Were I Brave Enough to Send this Email.

Quite a way to quit. Better file that one away for a future last day of work.

He Has Such a Nice Singing Voice

So...What Do You Think?

So the old design was getting a little stale, so I thought it was time for an upgrade. However, it looks like I lost your various and sundry comments (was using older tech from early in Blogger's career). Drat! Comment on the new digs at your leisure!

News You Can Use

When I said "pimping our bathroom," this wasn't what I had in mind.

Made a regrettable hook-up decision following last Friday's piss-up? Science has got your back.

Duh! or, If You Can't Beat It, Politicize It!

So, today the world's top climatologists issued a report saying that humans are to blame for global warming. What a surprise! The real surprise is that this report actually hit the world, in spite of years of aggressive Bush administration intimidation to declaw or downplay scientific reports to this same effect.

The White House's response? "Oh yeah? Well, uh, unexpected stuff will happen! And you'll lose your jobs!" Seriously, I'm waiting to see if the next statement involves terrorism...'If you stop driving your car or start paying attention to science, then the terrorists have truly won.' Jesus.

How anyone who doesn't still believe in fairies and magic can deny global warming is utterly beyond me. The only thing that's more distasteful is turning the topic into political fearmongering. We SHOULD be scared. We NEED to be afraid for our environment and what's going to happen to our world, cause we ain't going anywhere else. At present levels, we're looking at the end of seafood in 50 years; die-offs of sealife and hundreds of other geographically limited species; rampant pollution, and quite possoble the end of problems we can just ignore. If you're not afraid, you are not paying attention.

Or, I guess, still believe in unicorns and that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.