Alex Flagg - Testicular Revolutionary

OK, I admit I am posting this only because the title was a slam dunk. My friend Chester99 is a conversational terrorist, and big in every way - body, mind, humor, and particularly capacity for irritating others. So I fought back today in an IM conversation, and might have even won. The transcript follows:

(10:16:15 AM) Chester99: where do you stand on organ selling?
(10:16:26 AM) Alex: what's the context
(10:16:41 AM) Chester99: should it be legal to sell organs
(10:16:43 AM) Chester99: ie kidneys
(10:16:51 AM) Alex: well i need at least 1
(10:17:00 AM) Chester99: only if you intend to keep living
(10:17:03 AM) Alex: you looking for a spare?
(10:17:21 AM) Chester99: no, I tivo ER and they did a that for several episodes
(10:17:25 AM) Chester99: curious where you stood
(10:17:46 AM) Alex: i think it's pure desperation
(10:17:55 AM) Alex: I don't think I'd sell one in almost any situation
(10:17:59 AM) Alex: but never say never
(10:18:00 AM) Chester99: I've also been trying to get joe to cut his balls off and sell a kidney
(10:18:06 AM) Alex: lol
(10:18:09 AM) Alex: well my balls stay
(10:18:11 AM) Alex: no question
(10:18:15 AM) Chester99: oh yeah? why?
(10:18:18 AM) Alex: I need them
(10:18:21 AM) Chester99: for...?
(10:18:26 AM) Alex: plus my voice is high enuff as is
(10:18:32 AM) Chester99: you'll live longer
(10:18:33 AM) Alex: babies
(10:18:36 AM) Chester99: you can bank sperm
(10:18:41 AM) Alex: busting them
(10:18:50 AM) Alex: saying "I have balls"
(10:18:59 AM) Alex: because I want them
(10:19:00 AM) Chester99: say I gave you $50M to have them surgiclaly removed
(10:19:07 AM) Alex: say you had 50M
(10:19:14 AM) Chester99: it's purely hypothetical
(10:19:19 AM) Alex: sure
(10:19:22 AM) Chester99: 25?
(10:19:28 AM) Alex: but if you had 50 I'd probably have 40-45
(10:19:36 AM) Alex: so i don't need your paltry 5 M
(10:19:37 AM) Chester99: no, you'd still be poor
(10:19:40 AM) Alex: nope
(10:19:41 AM) Chester99: unless you sold your nuts
(10:19:45 AM) Chester99: at which point....
(10:19:50 AM) Alex: would you have sold your nuts then?
(10:19:56 AM) Alex: because how did you get so rich?
(10:20:01 AM) Chester99: I'm probably giving them away before too long anyway
(10:20:06 AM) Alex: I disbelieve
(10:20:09 AM) Chester99: so that's not at issue
(10:20:14 AM) Alex: oh but it is
(10:20:20 AM) Chester99: what I'm interested in is learning what the going rate is
(10:20:21 AM) Alex: why are you so rich and me so poor
(10:20:33 AM) Chester99: well alex, because I'm awesome
(10:20:33 AM) Alex: it's not fair, your hypothetical world
(10:20:35 AM) Chester99: we've talked about this before
(10:20:46 AM) Alex: well I'm keeping my nuts
(10:20:54 AM) Chester99: what about the kidney then?
(10:20:54 AM) Alex: just to spit in your rich face
(10:20:58 AM) Alex: keeping that too
(10:21:01 AM) Alex: purely out of spite
(10:21:02 AM) Chester99: 50M?
(10:21:14 AM) Alex: because there's such a split in society between rich and poor
(10:21:21 AM) Alex: and you are using your money to steal my organs
(10:21:54 AM) Alex: your hypothetical money is hypothetically tainted
(10:27:08 AM) Alex: (10:24:53 AM) Greensky: if you sell yours for 50 mill, could you buy someone elses for less maybe?
(10:24:58 AM) Alex: maybe
(10:25:03 AM) Alex: but I don't play that game with my balls
(10:25:24 AM) Greensky: yeah, no way I would go for that
(10:25:35 AM) Alex: plus, i'm fighting a class struggle at this point

Viva la revolucion!